Monday, 15 August 2011

(Ancient) History Repeating

I keep having a recurring dream, and I wish I knew what it symbolises. I have had dreams of this type for close to 10 years now, and I'm still no closer to working out what they represent. I say 'dreams of this type' because each one is unique (I am not having the exact same dream over and over) but the basic 'plot' or narrative of the dream, is I can call it that, remains the same each time.

Basically, I am back in year 12 and I am at school having just finished what I thought was my last exam before I find out that I must sit one more exam to be held the following morning. The subject is always the same, Ancient History, but it dawns on me to my horror that not only have I not been to any lesson on this subject all year but that I also have no textbooks (the internets not being around back then) or any notes whatsoever to cram with. The unsettling dream then becomes a nightmare when I realise that I am now guaranteed to fail that course, which means I will not get into uni, will not get a job and will be immediately jailed to be executed by lethal injection!

Leaving aside the abject silliness surrounding the apparent severity of the 'punishment' for academic failure, I find it odd that it is always Ancient History that seems to instil this terror in me when in reality I took the subject and did reasonably well in it. The nightmare would ring truer (I'm not sure whether this - truer - is actually a word, but I'll go with it) should the object of my fears be Advanced Maths or Physics.

Once the full and complete horror of my predicament dawns on me I wake up. It is odd because I get this dream on average once every two or three weeks. In fact, it predates by about seven years my decline in functioning experienced in the last couple of years so it can't be related to my present circumstances.

I had this dream again last night and I can't seem to get out of my head today.

No comments:

Post a Comment