My intention as I move forward with this blog is to write about all manner of things, to make comment on and discuss whatever takes my fancy at the time. It is a narrative that I would like to take in a variety of different directions, and I will try to avoid the temptation of restricting myself to a small number of themes.
Quite obviously, the opening few entries concentrate on my disability and the journey I have been on since it unexpectedly worsened. Currently, as I am trying to engage with the world once again after hiding myself away as I learn to deal with the resultant involuntary lifestyle changes, my mind is focusing on this aspect of my life given the internal trauma that I have experienced.
But that is only one side of myself, and there are many others. As this blog develops I will begin to widen the scope of the issues and topics I will write about. As I endeavour to integrate back into the world, I anticipate that I will begin to focus less on my disability. But at present it is the elephant in the room, and I feel fortunate to at least have the insight to recognise this and attempt to deal with it.
I have always been a fairly extroverted person but now I feel quite the inverse. As a result of the stress and upheaval I have experienced since 2009 I have found it difficult with one on one interactions at times. I do have a desire to share a little about how this has all been for me but I don't know how - other than writing like this under a pseudonym - and I really don't think I know why I need to do this in such a way either. I will attempt to write about this under the chapter Revelation. Perhaps by putting these thoughts on this blog I can allow this information to disburse into cyberspace and thereby take some of the emotional baggage off my shoulders.
As I have been writing these entries - about 10 so far - I have felt somewhat less encumbered even though I have not shared the link to this blog with anyone so far, and these pages have only been viewed by myself as at this time of writing.
This blog is therefore cathartic and a necessary step towards coming to terms with my new reality. As I assemble it, I feel as though I am reassembling myself.